Have you ever experienced those moments where there isn’t anything particularly wrong, but you just feel down? The self-questioning begins. Am I exhausted? Coming down with something? Cranky? Hungry? Lonely? Sad? It’s hard to pinpoint what it could be, but it feels like something is missing.
There’s an unexplainable void.
The Japanese have pondered this idea of “a void in life” for many decades. And thousands of years ago, they decided that many people are missing something essential from their lives — a sense of purpose.
They called this thing ikigai: reason for being.
Ikigai is what gets you out of bed in the morning. It’s that something in your life that’s so important, it drives you, and gives you a sense of fulfillment. The Japanese believe that knowing our ikigai will help us live our best lives. It’s the finely tuned inner compass that allows you to bring meaning, satisfaction, and happiness in all that you do. In order to pursue a life filled with health and happiness, we must first be aware of how our actions line up with those things that bring us utter joy.
The society we live in, places so much importance on social and financial status, which we in turn place as a priority, irrespective of the emotional cost. It’s no wonder a majority of us feel unhappy and unworthy. We spend our days comparing our lives to others, and anxiously awaiting more likes, and positive emojis. Our bodies are never perfect enough, and our bank accounts never stacked enough. We make ourselves unhappy, because our purpose is not clear, and our priorities lack meaning.
Instead of focusing on a life purpose, we strive for perfection.
And for a moment, it feels like we’ve got it all worked out. We’re on top of our weight and muscle mass, we have a career and money in the bank, we socialize, we travel, we’re healthy, and we even keep a clean house. Although these are all wonderfully worthy accomplishments, the euphoria is fleeting, and that void we once felt soon returns.
It’s time to search for, and embrace, your own ikigai.
Finding your life’s purpose is not something you just put on your to-do list, or figure out during weekend brunch. In order to start this process, you must first create space to simply be alone, with no agenda. Yes, you heard right. Alone, with no distractions. I know this sounds suspiciously close to meditation, and maybe that will present itself to you; but for now simply make it a priority to spend some time alone every week. You could go for a walk, sit outside, lay on your floor, or even go to your favorite cafe. No company.
I want you to spend that time considering these four simple questions.
And when I say consider, I do mean consider. You don’t need to have an exact answer to each question, you don’t even need to have an answer at all. Just sit alone and ponder the following four questions.
- What is your passion? (What do you love to do?)
- What are you good at? (And remember everyone is good at something)
- What do you believe in? (What changes would you want to see in the world?)
- What will people need and value? (How can you improve your surroundings?)
If journaling is your thing, then bring a pen and journal with you on your solo date.
Don’t worry about writing form or what to write. Just write. If you hit a wall, take a breathe, put the pen down, and continue to simply sit there. I personally enjoy spending time alone in nature. That is where I feel most connected, and most at peace. Answers come to me, even when I don’t have a question.
Your ikigai doesn’t have to be “solving the world hunger crisis.” For starters, you might decide to plant flowers in your front yard, or visit your grandmother this weekend – two very purposeful and meaningful activities.
Like I said before, finding your ikigai won’t be unveiled in a day or a week, or a month, or even a year. It’s a process. The idea is to get you to start becoming more aware of the moments you are in bliss, and the moments you are not – and why that is.
Start that process today, and trust me, even if you simply do a few small things every day to get you closer to your own ikigai, not only will this help you feel more emotionally centered, but it will actually improve your physical health as well.
Science is now proving that those with a sense of purpose live longer and also have a higher quality of life. The Japanese, after all, have the longest life span of any other people in the world. Clearly, they know something about how to live.
Begin the search for your ikigai. It is the key to happiness.
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